Perhaps what I'm describing is simply the movement from romanticism to realism, from the aesthetics of intensity to the ethics of attention. Perhaps it is only that I have loved and been loved enough times to know that the experience bears little resemblance to its representations.

We have no generous vocabulary for pauses in adult life. We never call them necessary, never sacred. But what if our lives, like fields, need seasons of rest? What if the gap isn't empty but essential? The rest between notes that makes music music.

After thirty years, I've learned journaling isn't about capturing life but about the practice of presence itself—and I'm returning to share that uncertainty.

Our biology insists on honesty even when our psychology does not. The flush rising in our cheeks, tears springing to our eyes, our voice breaking when we speak of what matters. We are, whether we like it or not, transparent.