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The Kindness Method

SGD 14.00

We have been taught that transformation requires severity. That to change ourselves, we must first despise the selves that need changing. We starve ourselves into submission, we shame ourselves into compliance, we wage war against our own desires and call it discipline. And yet we remain stuck, cycling endlessly through the same patterns, because we have mistaken violence for motivation.

Shahroo Izadi offers a quieter, more radical proposition: that kindness is not the reward for changing but the engine of change itself. Drawing from her years working with people caught in addiction, she illuminates what psychologists have been slowly confirming: that we cannot think our way into a new way of living; we can only live our way into a new way of thinking. And we can only do that if we stop treating ourselves like problems to be solved and start treating ourselves like people we actually care about.

This is not the tyranny of positive thinking. This is the liberation of honest compassion. The recognition that our habits are not moral failures but information, that our struggles are not shameful but human, and that the only force strong enough to change the architecture of our lives is not punishment but understanding. Izadi shows us how to map our own patterns with the same nonjudgmental curiosity we would bring to a friend's suffering, and in doing so, she remaps the whole terrain of what change actually requires.

We have been taught that transformation requires severity. That to change ourselves, we must first despise the selves that need changing. We starve ourselves into submission, we shame ourselves into compliance, we wage war against our own desires and call it discipline. And yet we remain stuck, cycling endlessly through the same patterns, because we have mistaken violence for motivation.

Shahroo Izadi offers a quieter, more radical proposition: that kindness is not the reward for changing but the engine of change itself. Drawing from her years working with people caught in addiction, she illuminates what psychologists have been slowly confirming: that we cannot think our way into a new way of living; we can only live our way into a new way of thinking. And we can only do that if we stop treating ourselves like problems to be solved and start treating ourselves like people we actually care about.

This is not the tyranny of positive thinking. This is the liberation of honest compassion. The recognition that our habits are not moral failures but information, that our struggles are not shameful but human, and that the only force strong enough to change the architecture of our lives is not punishment but understanding. Izadi shows us how to map our own patterns with the same nonjudgmental curiosity we would bring to a friend's suffering, and in doing so, she remaps the whole terrain of what change actually requires.

  • Orders ship within 3-5 business days via SingPost or courier service, depending on your location within Singapore. You'll receive tracking information once your order is dispatched.

    Delivery Time 1-3 business days for most Singapore addresses.

    Shipping Costs Free

    A Note on Timing This is a one-woman operation. During particularly busy periods or when I'm unwell, processing may take longer. I'll update the homepage if significant delays are expected.

  • Returns are handled on a case-by-case basis.

    If something arrives damaged, defective, or significantly different from what was described, contact me within 7 days of delivery with photos. I'll make it right.

    For other situations (changed your mind, ordered the wrong size, or it simply isn't what you hoped) email me. I'll do my best to find a reasonable solution, though I can't guarantee returns in every case.

    This approach allows me to be fair and flexible while sustaining a very small operation.

  • About This Shop

    This shop exists in a transitional moment. The items here are inventory from a previous business. One built with different priorities, questions, and a different sense of what mattered. Over time, that business stopped reflecting how I think and what I want to say. So I let it go.

    What remains are these products: well-made, functional, some I still believe in completely, others that represent a version of my taste I've since outgrown. They're here because I'd rather see them used than stored, and because closing one chapter means clearing space for the next.

    This explains the pricing. These aren't luxury goods positioned at luxury prices. They're priced to move, well below their original retail value, because my goal is completion, not profit.

    What This Shop Isn't

    This isn't a carefully branded lifestyle destination. There's no aesthetic through-line being sold, no vision of the good life you can purchase in installments.

    It's not a manifesto in retail form.

    It's not permanent. When this inventory is gone, this shop may close, transform, or become something else entirely.

    On Selling Things

    To offer something for sale is to enter a complicated exchange. You're saying: this object is worth your money, your space, your attention. That claim should be made carefully.

    I'm making it less carefully here than I would if starting fresh, because these items already exist. They were already manufactured, shipped, stored. The environmental and economic cost has been paid. The question now is whether they can be useful rather than wasteful.

    Some of these things I'd buy again. Others taught me what I don't need. Both kinds are here.

  • For questions about orders, products, or anything else:

    Email: ann@greataveruins.com

    I typically respond within 1-3 business days. I'm running this alone, which means responses may occasionally be slower during especially busy periods or personal circumstances. Your patience is genuinely appreciated.